Is eating with mouth a crime?

Kerala House incident clearly shows the communal fervour of the central govt. A stupid man complaints about a reputed govt bldg and Delhi police acts immediately, raids the house with 20+ policemen. Beef getting served was such an important task to be noticed instead of lacs of pending complaints related to child and women safety.

The Delhi Police, for the first time came to know that even Buffalo meat also comes under 'Beef' category and that is not ban in the National Capital. Moreover Beef is mostly Ox and Buffalo meat (the male one), nobody eats the lactating animals. Similarly 'Murga' and 'Bakra' are mostly consumed not murgi and bakri :)

In Kerala most of the people are non vegetarians and beef is a very common and cheap source of food option. It is sold in registered govt shops there. I repeat 'Hindu' doesn't mean Brahmins and 'North Indian Hindus'. So DONOT generalise the very word and impose a particular food menu on others.

I am a Hindu too and I too eat beef when served a delicious dish. I am so proud to say that I eat with my mouth only. So do I deserve to be killed in this secular nation for having my own food choices.

धर्मनिरपेक्षता एक वरदान

मेरी मन में भी कभी १ प्रश्न था की,जब देश का बंटवारा धर्म के नाम पर हुआ,और पाकिस्तान एक मुस्लिम देश बना तो भारत क्यों हिन्दू देश नहीं बना... जबकि आज़ादी के वक़्त ८० फीसदी हिन्दू आबादी थी...क्यों इस देश को धर्म निरपेक्ष रखा गया... . उस प्रश्न का उत्तर अब भलीभांति मिल रहा है, तकरीबन रोज़....

हमारे संविधान निर्माता बेहद सुलझे हुए एवं दूर दर्शी थे, जिस तरह पाकिस्तान का हश्र आज दुनिया देख रही है, सऊदी अरब के कड़े क़ानून भी सब जानते है ...... और आज भारत जिन परिस्थितियों से रूबरू हो रहा है, जहाँ कुछ कट्टरपंथी हिन्दू संगठन, छद्म देश प्रेम के नाम पर सभ्रांत लोगों पर काला रंग फेक रहे हैं, अपने पसंद का भोजन करने पर जान ले रहे हैं,किसी नेता या पार्टी या संगठन विशेष के खिलाफ बोलने मात्र पर आपको देश द्रोही करार दिया जा रहा है, वैलेंटाइन्स डे पर, पार्कों में कुछ हिन्दू संगठनो का नवजवानों को तंग करते हैं, सगोत्र विवाह करने पर खूब खराबा करते हैं,खुद के त्योहारो पर जबरदस्ती चंदा वसूली, बे रोक टोक लाऊड स्पीकर बजाना, बीच सड़क झांकियां निकलना आदि आदि.......

देश के धर्म निरपेक्ष होने के बावजूद....ये सब हो रहा है..... देश यदि धर्म निरपेक्ष नहीं होता तो सोचो क्या हाल होता....बेशक साक्षी महाराज, साध्वी माताओं का राज होता..... .सनातन नैतिकता के प्रवचन आपके मुह में रोज़ जोर जबरदस्ती ठूंसे जाते .... कोई अचरज नहीं है की, लव मेरिज बैन हो जाती, लड़कियों को तो ड्रेस कोड थमा दिया जाता,शादी शुदा महिलाओं पर जबरदस्ती मंगल सूत्र, सिन्दूर, बिछियां  पहना दी जाती , सबके माथे पर शाकाहार भोजन लाद दिया जाता... आज विरोध करने पर सिर्फ काला रंग फ़ेंक रहे हैं.... कल एसिड फेंका जायेगा  और फेंकने वालों को पद्म श्री मिलेगा....

हिन्दू होना १ बात है.... लेकिन सही माने में धर्म निरपेक्षता के महत्व को समझना अति आवश्यक है.... आज बहुतायत हिन्दू आबादी भी विदेशों में बसी है... कभी सोचा है क्यों वे लोग वापस नहीं आना चाहते....इनमे ज्यादातर महिलाएं होती हैं जो वापस आना नहीं चाहती, क्यों की...सबसे बड़ी आज़ादी... कपडे पहनने की आज़ादी... इन देशों में ही होती है.... आपको कोई नहीं देखता न टोकता है... और इस देश में तो खुद के परिवार वाले ही.. कपड़ों की डिक्शनरी खोले बैठे होते हैं... भारत में बिछियां पहनने वालियां, सिन्दूर लगाने वाली, बुर्का पहनने वाली महिलाएं... विदेशों में ये सब करना क्यों बंद कर देती हैं.... कम्फर्ट की वज़ह से.. हैना ... अर्थ तो यही हुआ न की खुद के देश में ये सब.... जयदा तो दुनिया को दिखाने के लिए करना होता है..... फिर इन सबका क्या अर्थ?

खुद की ख़ुशी से ही समाज खुश रहता है.... और ख़ुशी आज़ादी से ही मिलती है.... और आज़ादी सिर्फ धर्म निरपेक्षता सेकुलरिज्म में ही होती है.. .. ये बात हम हिन्दुस्तानियों को समझनी होगी.... अभी तो हमें... हमारे देश में सही धर्म निरपेक्षता को चरम पर पहुचाना है..... अपने देश को सही मायने में आज़ाद करना है.....
एक बेहतर देश बनाना है... इसलिए ये हिन्दू राष्ट्र, मुस्लिम विरोध इनसब से ऊपर उठ के.... इस देश को आज़ाद लोगों के रहने लायक बनाने में एक जुट हों .....

हंगामा है क्यों बरपा.....

ये संगीत  सोम भाजप नेता... दादरी में अख्लाख़ की जगह.... आरोपियों के परिवार से मिल आये, कमाल का दिमाग पाया है घुटनो में  और इस असंवेदनशील मनुष्य के खिलाफ पार्टी का क्या कहना है?  और दूसरी "इनका यही हश्र " वाली साध्वी मैय्या... भगवा पहनी हो राम का नाम जपो, पर नहीं... कुछ न कुछ बकर करते रहना है....हिंसा को बढ़ावा देने वाला, हिंसा का समर्थन करने वाला ये कौनसा साधुत्व है?

इंसान की कोख में पलने वाली बच्ची को मारने वाला ये समाज.... क्या पढ़े लिखे और क्या गवार... इस महा नृशंस हत्याकांडों में सभी होते हैं भागीदार..... जब ये लोग गौ हत्या के सवाल पर पर किसी की हत्या करते हैं , सर पे खून सवार किये नज़र आते हैं तो बेहद हास्यास्पद लगता है.....गैय्या तुम सबकी मैय्या... हैना.....और तुम्हरी जोरू,या तुम्हरी बहुरिया के कोख में पल रही बच्ची वो किसकी है?  दोगले लोग

दम है इन लोगों में तो.... ऐसे ही मार के बताएं सरे आम उस परिवार को जो कोख में पलने वाली बेटियों के हत्यारे हो,जो लड़कियों पे एसिड के कायराना हमले करते हों.....है दम?

नहीं न...कायर . डरपोक भीड़... .. किसी ने बीफ क्या खा लिया हंगामा बरपा रखा है....इस देश में बहुतायत लोग बीफ खाते हैं....मुस्लिम, ईसाई ही नहीं कई हिन्दू भी.... हिन्दू समाज कोई अपर क्लास बामणो की बपौती नहीं है... हमारा भी है यही हिन्दू समाज ....

इतनी ही गाय माता है सबकी तो... ज़िन्दगी भर उसका दूध निकाल के जब बूढी होती है तो सड़क पर क्यों छोड़ देते हो... पोलिथिन चरने . काहेकि कोई काम की नहीं बची न अब माता .... क्या प्रेम है माँ के प्रति....

कब ये देश खाना मुह से खाना सीखेगा, भूख लगी है.... खाना जो सामने आये खाकर देखो... अच्छा लगा तो और खाओ.. नहीं अच्छा लगा न खाओ....पर कोई दूसरा क्या खाए.... क्या न खाए इस पर अपनी टीका टिप्पणी अपने पास धरो.... ये १ धर्म निरपेक्ष देश है और रहेगा...

Redefining Rakhshabandhan

I believe the name 'Rakshabandhan' for this lovely festival must have been given when India faced massive foreign invations,  women were abused,looted and exploited badly and seeked someone's protection all the time.  Protection from invaders was their primary urge.  But in today's context the whole concept of  womanhood in India is changing slowly.  A country which is still conservative and stereotype in the way they see women but the expectations of women from the society is surely changing.

The word 'Raksha' is a little demoralising for women who believe they deserve equal rights. According to me the word 'Raksha' should be replaced by 'Sneh' - 'Snehbandhan', seems more relevant.  Strings of sneh should be tied by brothers to sisters,sisters to brothers,sisters to sisters and brothers to brothers, Without any protocol. Infact festivals were introduced to bring happiness in every possible way. Hence nobody should be deprived just because she / he has no brother or sister. That's the first step towards equality and respect.

You call it 'Rakshabandhan' or 'Snehbandhan', moreiott important is how you treat women in your family and personal circle. The question is, does the society empower them enough that, they need not seek protection and are confident economically and educationally.

Equal right on assets
I come from a family of landlords. My grand father had hundreds of acres of land and he could very well afford to give property shares to my aunties(Bua jis) but never gave an inch because of the Patriarchal Society.For him  that property is for the boys.  On the contrary my Mom belongs to a matriarchal society of Kerala , she owns land from her paternal as well as maternal side. The legacy was continued by my mom and I became the  exceptional case in my dad's family. I own property from my dad's side as well as mom's side.  This is surely bringing change in the mindset of my family. Now my cousins (girls) too inherit their parental property.

Everyone knows that our govt has given equal property rights to the girls, but is that ever practiced ? We live in a society which lives with a mindset that parental property is for the boy and marriage expense done for the girl is what she deserves. She would receive her husband's inherited property. But what's the take if she doesn't marry? What's the take if her marriage fails? Doesn't she deserves the extra perk and security which the boy is entitled to? She surely deserves it and this makes her super safe. This is actually the real 'Raksha' for women.

Right to breed her own race

The time when I was carrying my second child some of my husband's relatives used to wish me by saying, May this be a boy kid so that your children can celebrate all the festivals, I knew they meant 'Rakshabandhan'. Isn't this a way of taunting someone for having a boy child compulsorily and you are bound to be sad if you have a girl child as second child. Although I personally believe that having a child is a festival in itself, we don't breed children for celebrating festivals. Happiness cannot have conditions.

It is high time that the stereotypes of having a boy child should be broken compulsorily. We live in the era of scientific advancements , people are well aware of the theory of 'X' and 'Y' chromosomes and their carriers but, still the society hasn't come out of the mindset of blaming women for the girl child. The hypocrisy of expecting a boy child every time a woman gets pregnant leads to low ratio of - famale population, high rate of female infanticide, which is a shame for the society.

Equal Upbringing is what women require

The time when Rakshabandhan actually evolved,boys were taught martial skills,skills to earn money and girls were taught only the core household work. In today's scenario things have quite changed,society doesn't have to live in the fear of attacks and so the girls are free to try their hands on various skills which would make them earning members too. An equal upbringing desires, respect is for both, for a boy and so is for the girl. Girls too can afford to give away gifts to their siblings and parents. It's high time people get over the mindset that we don't accept gifts from our girl child.

Respect as a human being

Women too expect 'Respect' as human beings and that's all. What's the meaning of 'touching the feet' and 'Kanya Bhojan' if you don't desire one in the womb.  Try to consider her a human instead of a 'devi' and she'll be liberated in real sense.

A gift of childhood to the adulthood

I am excited to write for # BachpanWithFlinto blogger contest of Women's Web. 

Here I close my eyes to go back in the memory lane,a trip to my lovely childhood.The very first sight comes in my mind is of my comics - Chacha Chaudhari, Billu,Pinky,Raman,Channi Chachi.My endless and stressfree reading sessions.I don't even remember that anything else exited me more than my comics in those days.

Everytime when we used to travel somewhere or went to railway station to see off some relative, I never forgot to buy a comic.If my dad bought me a big 20 rs digest; I was the happiest person in the town.My mother is from Kerala, my Amuma - Apupa used to live in Alleppy and we live near Itarsi,M.P. (central india).During summer vacation, the long  journey of 3 days by Kerala Express from Itarsi to Chenagnoor was extra special for me because dad used to buy me comics from all big junctions and by the time we used to reach Kerala I had plenty of goodies to showoff infront of my cousins there.

My elder brother's love for comics had gone a way too far. He was a small entrepreneur of the town.He had consolidated all his pocket money and opened a small comics library in an old school Riksha which was a prime adda of all his friends and our cousins in front of our house.He made me a cashier too in this business for some time but I was very bad in it;so I was fired.

Now when I think about my kids and my brother's kids, the whole scenario seems so boring and uninteresting. Kids now a days are not at all interesed in reading. The word reading itself fills their mind with thousands of excuses.They are more interested in their i-pads and tablets.Those action packed adventure games which have no educational value for us.

I miss those small talks of school friends during lunch time." Hey did you read Chacha Chaudhari and Raka's adventure ", "Will you exchange your Pinky comics with my Billu".Lovely days I believe. They seem even lovelier because they imbibed the very beginning of "Reading Hobby" in me,which led to Writing as a hobby.Those days get the full credit that today I am an author of Women's Web.Isn't that a fabulous contribution from my childhood to my adulthood.

I absolutely cherish those days and feel that our kids are surely missing something very rewarding.

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Don't Preach... Just do it unconditionally

We the Parents are the first teachers of a child. The qualities which parents possess and the behaviour of the parents makes greater impact on children more than anything.its true that kids learn from your actions not from your words.

If you feel someone's emotions, if you understand the importance of someone's happiness..... Your children would surely learn to understand this.For example if you love your wife / husband so much,you can't live without her/him,you live your life with his/her memories even if she/he isn't alive....your kids surely would learn to understand the word -- "Love".

If you spoil someone's bestest events,if you spoil someone's happiest days,if you seem not to understand the importance of others happiness....How can you expect the same in return.

Understanding is always a mutual emotion....which can never be preached nor it can be taught....it gets born when love is genuine, it gets born when you feel for others, it gets born when you love unconditionally.

Be it Parents....Be it Children....Be it anyone in this Universe.....love,care,respect and understanding are not something which is demanded or expected or preached..... They are Earned !!!

If we as parents are righteous,loving,caring if we understand the meaning of unconditional love.... its highly unlikely that we don't find respect,love,care and understanding from our kids.

If you don't give time to your kids,if you don't express your love to your kids,if you don't understand them,if you don't support them when they fall, if you don't stop your burdening him with false expectations,if you are never there when they need you...... How can you expect the same in return?

The motto is, "Don't preach.... Just do it unconditionally !!!!"

Handling Sibling Jealousy..... the effective way

Yes,finally I have achieved yet another milestone in my life. I have finally become a mother of two. To have a second child or not is definitely a personal choice but it is ofcourse a tough call. Absolutely not an easy stream to sail through since you already have a bundle of joy before having this another one. Here some tips to bare the thunder breeze effectively.

First come first serve

In the initial days try to seek permission from your elder one for even smaller things such as changing diapers, giving feeds,bathing.I know it sounds crazy but it surely works."Can momma change new baby's diapers,else it'll stink badly"; and the answer would be a "Yes". They usually like it when their agreement is seeked.

Download those silly newborn games

Most of the young ones are quite tablet savvy these days, apart from their regular adventure or role play games do offer them games which attracts their attention towards how to take care of a newbie. It interests them even more since they have actually witnessed your journey with a cute baby bump.

Have an extra budget for the big sister/brother

Seeing a new rattle toy in your sister's hand with an empty hand is so painful and we need to understand this. It's little trickier but you need to handle this. Usually all the visitors who bring gifts for the little one usually forget that there is one more baby out there. And you have to supplement it with a small gift for your elder one. It's an important investment.

Be a Sandwich for sometime

Co - sleeping is so very important in those early months. Momma sleeping with the new baby is a rivalry booster,so it's better if you sleep with both of your bundle of joys on either sides. It's difficult as well as tiring but it assures your elder one that, Yes Momma is mine too.

Equal share of scoldings

Don't refrain from those occasional finicky scoldings,target should be of course the little one.(You need good acting talent) those raised eyebrows, just to prove that momma is always fair."Ira,  why did you spill the milk on the carpet !!".... Soon after you'll hear a cute response, "Mom I never do that".This brings your elder one close to you.

The give away trick

If your elder one is absolutely panic and possessive about you and nothing seems to work.  You can trick him by saying that "Oh dear if you don't like the baby, we'll give her to your cousin Rouni. She wants a baby sister.  You are gonna hear a big "No" there and be happy because it's just the beginning of special bond.