Life,Frustrations and Happiness

Sometimes life seems to be all about Frustrations.Frustations of one's own wrong decisions,frustrations of the after effects of those wrong decisions,frustrations of the failures we faced......frustrations of the rejections...a person can forget all good things happened to him but he can never forget wrong happenings ....specially done to him.

Doesn't this mean that negativity has a stronger impact on our lives.

Some negativities are avoidable and some are not.Things which are not connected to us emotionally are always avoidable.So is it necessary to connect with everyone emotionally....absolutely no ! In our lives most of our relationships aren't exactly emotional ones......but still they pour unhappiness at times.....why ?

Here comes another factor......which is the core reason of our frustrations or may be unhappiness and that is "Ego" .When somebody questions about your ability ....you get hurt immediately you try to answer him,you try to count him many points which proves you to be a responsible person or you start with a counter attack and start questioning his abilities.But is it compulsory or may be necessary to satisfy everyone ? No ! It is absolutely not necessary to satisfy everyone infact it is next to impossible to make everyone happy....

It was easy for Krishna to hold Govardhana with his little finger but to make all his disciples happy is impossible....forget about non-disciples.

For me principle of happiness or frustration free life revolves around you only......only a happy cook can prepare a Michelin recipe....similarly only a happy heart can make your loved ones really happy....forget about people who don't love you....they can never be satisfied.....So your happiness is what counts most....try to find stuff which makes you happy....rest everything will fall in place....:)

Ishq Unlimited

Few years back I had met an old man in a train on my way to Pune.....I was wearing a tattered jeans ....it had cuts on my knees :) while talking he said "see this ....our young generation spends money for torn clothes....I hid the cut at once and he said, "Don't hide it child...its your life and you like it....you should live your life the way you want....that's my point of view and it doesn't need to suit you"....I was amazed.....as well as exited to know more of him.....

During some discussion with the fellow passengers he was criticizing Pakistan for supporting terrorism....some muslim ladies were also there who were basically from Karachi ...he was persuading them to settle in India....after a while out of my curiousness I asked him about his family.....he said he lost his wife when he was 35 he had two sons at that time .....one is a manager in TCS now and one is a doctor settled in US....he was going to Pune for meeting the first boy....during his talks I came to know that he stays alone in Bhopal and was a sport officer in the university before retirement.....he opts to stay alone and visits both his sons every year for few days....so that no one hinders privacy and relationships are amicable and wanted.

He is 70 now .....he was 35 when his wife died.....he says he struggled with loads of demanding family requests for remarriage but he didn't remarry because first of all he loved his wife more than his life....and he didn't want to loose respect in the eyes of his kids that he cannot take care of them alone....if he would have died .....he was sure his wife would never ever had thought of remarrying.

He narrated me how he was transformed from an amateur cook to a perfect mommy type cook,how every morning he got up early for his boys to prepare their lunch boxes....to the time when they were adults and he attended their engineering  and medical counseling .... Etc etc 

He says both his sons their wives and their kids love their dad more than anything in this world....those are the bestest days of their lives when they get to be with their dad.....coz they believe that when they are with their dad ....They are with GOD :) 

When I reached Pune he gave his son's visiting card ....the name written was "Iqbal Habib Khan"

Uncle said My name is Habib Khan :) 

I was stunned and speechless.

I have never met a person like him before.....he was a Muslim man....forget remarriage.......his religion even allows him to have two wives....and he didn't even remarry.....faced all oddities,didn't take the short cut,played the role of mom and dad at the same time for bringing up his kids.....Amazing human being .....He gained immense Respect in my eyes.

Touch the pickle !!!

I love the new  “Touch the Pickle” advertisement of Whisper Ultra.I believe it took thousands of years for our society to reach here.As a kid and even today I used to think that why a girl is abhorred during mensuration why is she outcasted when she should be adored most,why is she kept out of kitchen and worship places.What’s wrong in there ? I absolutely see no reason to it.Isn’t it a natural phenomenon and the most necessary one to keep up the pace of this Universe

It is kind of imbibed from our childhood and we follow it blindly or out of a scared mind or to please someone or to avoid turbulence in the family or to follow a family legacy.Even today I see families where in husbands cook during those days compulsorily.Some of my friends too argued that whats wrong if we want to provide some relief to our wives.I absolutely have no problems there but in most of the cases it’s not happening for providing special care but it is actually happening to follow a long legacy.My mother followed this and my wife has to follow.I absolutely abhor the very  “has to follow” attitude of our society .To work in the kitchen or not to work should be the girl’s decision, if she is feeling good and may be she wants to cook for herself,will she be even be allowed to do so.But this is not the scenario any where.

The same weird behaviour is again visible after child delivery.The people who visit the new mother and baby in the initial 10 days take bath afterwards.The whole house including the linen is washed throughly on 10th day.The mother and her newborn child is considered impure for 10 days.For me giving birth is a painful as well as the most cherishing experience for any woman.These kind of traditions not only spoil the very mood of goodness but they actually corrupt the mindset of the new mom to learn and follow this legacy.

I don’t even believe that any God would hate or curse a girl if she enters the temple during those days especially when we have some of our temples where deities also face the same condition and those are some of the very famous temples of India for example Chenagnoor mahadev temple in Kerala and Kamakya in Assam infact the very tainted cloth of deity is considered auspicious.Why such double standards with humans then ?

It is like when Lord Krishna eloped with Rukmini and got married it comes in our bhajans it is praised but when a poor couple does this society outcast them.

I totally believe that it is time that we rethink over our legacies and traditions all over again.The most important part of the whole scenario is the “Woman” herself and her dignity.It is high time that our society should start accepting her individuality.If we talk about and strive towards scientific advancements then why can’t we work about the amendments and upliftments of our traditions.

Righteousness is what true religion is all about

Rasad Mohammad was the eldest out of the two brothers of a family in Aluva,Kerala. Rasad went to Oman to support his family.He worked there as a welding mechanic.Sooner he started feeling that he is loosing his eye sight.He showed it to a doctor and after a blood test the doctor came to know that there is nothing wrong with his eyes but his both the kidneys are damaged.Rasad needed to go on a dialysis and needs a transplant also.Rasad returned back to India and started going for his dialysis to kochi thrice a week.Meanwhile he was also cheated by an organ trafficking gang.He had completely lost it by now.

One day Rasad boarded a bus from Aluva to Kochi.He was going for his routine dialysis.The person who sat beside Rasad on this journey "Father Sibi Sabastian" noticed that Rasad was in absolute melancholy.He asked Rasad about it.Rasad narrated his story.Father asked whether any of his family members could donate him a kidney , he said no as his parents are diabetic and brother's blood group was different.Father asked for his blood group, it was A+ ....after a while father Sibi told "if our kidneys match then I can donate a kidney to you".......Rasad was speechless.Father Sibi took his number and got down.

Rasad couldn't believe that someone who was just a co passenger wants to donate his one kidney to him.....next day Father Sibi called him and told that he has talked to a doctor about it and they will check both of them.....Rasad asked him that why does he wants to donate his kidney ? Father Sibi replied ,"I have two kidneys and you don't have any ....I can live with one so I am donating one to you....that's it " surprisingly the matching was 95 % and father Sibi indeed donated his kidney,the transplant was a success.Many NGOs and common people supported Father Sibi and Rasad for later expenditures.

This incident reflects what true Dharma is.I have always believed that Dharma is nothing but righteous behavior......Father Sibi didn't belong to Rasad's religion but what father Sibi did is something divine......It would be very difficult to find one person like Father Sibi outta all religious sects.....yes sects only .....not Dharma !!!
He was truly a FARISHTA for Rasad. There are good people or bad people in every religion......but any specific religion surely can't assure righteousness.

This is a true incident which took place in June 2013.